Back in the summer of 2016, I relocated to the San Francisco Bay Area in California for a new position at my job, and I honestly didn't know what to expect. I did not have any friends or family in the area, and this was the first time I left the "nest" to explore the world on my own.
My first year in the Bay Area wasn't the worst experience that could happen in my life, but it turned out to be one of the most challenging experiences in my life. I was living in a one bedroom apartment that was above my means. Every day, I would go to work during the week and come home in the evenings. I hardly went out to have any leisure time. That was the first time I felt like a loner, and it was becoming depressing.
In the spring of 2017, I found myself contemplating if I should move back home or stick it out and stay in the Bay Area. I would complain to my parents and friends, but I had to realize that I haven't taken advantage of what this experience could be. I had a conversation with one of my mentors from back home, and she mentioned something that stuck out to me, and that was "You need to join a community."
What exactly is a community, and why is it so important? There are many variations to the definition of "community," here is the one that helps to share my idea the most:
"A feeling of fellowship with others, as a result of sharing common attitudes, interests, and goals."
Suddenly, I realized this is what I lacked in my life — a sense of community. Of course, when I go home, I have a variety of communities that I developed from years of relationships and experiences in my life. When a person moves to a brand new environment, then you have to rebuild yourself and find those communities that fit your attitude, interests, and goals. I was walking a clean slate.
Imagine you are entering your freshman year of college, as human beings, we naturally want to feel like we belong to something and that is what communities help us to do. When you enter your freshman year at a university, you have to declare your major, meet new classmates, and check out a variety of organizations to find your sense of belonging.
Today, I'm glad to say I've now found that sense of belonging out here in the Bay Area, and it is a pretty unique one. I now have roommates that I can connect and engage in interests that I enjoy, but most importantly they hold me accountable to be who I want to be. We do this is a communal way.
At the beginning of the year, we discussed how we go about setting goals. This discussion turned into us building a framework for us to achieve three goals every quarter of the year. We meet every Sunday and Thursday to share our updates on our desired goals we've chosen.
We start with someone from the group sharing something they've recently completed or something new they’ve learned that we can all benefit from. Once complete, we each share our goal progress: what was achieved, what we plan to do next, and what is holding us back. The group holds you accountable by asking questions to try to understand how we can help you succeed and to keep you on track if you're not progressing.
This structure is built to help you grow in areas that you want to see positive change. However, it is also a structure that allows you not to do it alone. We are supporting each other every step of the way and ensuring that we always balance it out with some fun.
This is what community has been defined for me in my 3rd year in the Bay Area. I came here to surround myself with incredibly smart individuals, driven to succeed, and loves to enjoy life. I'm lucky to have that community in the home-place and with friends. It is vital for you to find out what community means for you. There's a famous quote that says:
"You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with."
This quote is a disclaimer for good and bad communities you choose to spend your time. If you spend time hanging with people who are not making positive decisions, then you should expect adverse outcomes to transpire inevitably.
Communities are how we develop a society that supports the ideals that we wish to promote. Everyone either creates communities or joins them because it is the natural thing to do. Ultimately, that gives you the power to decide the people you want around you for a certain length of time. Is it worth it?